For What To Dream Of

The World Cup started.

And today i smiled for the very first time.

Sometimes it is better to let go, matters not how much you love. Give the other one all the freedom they want to have. I dont want to stand in a way of anything and anybody. He is happier now and im happy for him, if we are not even meant to be friends its ok. Eventually we both will forget this year we had together. It was nice, but yes, maybe it wasnt meant to be.

So yes, starting brand new :) What is to come i do not know. I am not giving up on love. Never ever. And im not even going to change. If they come, i will trust them. I will trust them with my life until they prove me otherwise. Call me stupid, call me naive, but i think everybody deserves their chance. And how they use it its up to them. So yeah, i am slowly redirecting.

And i watch soccer all the time im having the most fun. Im pariticipating on a betting game and its just awesome. Also im somewhat excited about China. HOw is it going to be there? Am i going to be happy there? Am i going to succeed there? Am i going to find new friends there? Am i going to find a new love there? Am i going to have a new life there?

So many questions and no answers. Its exciting. Im sad, still broken hearted, still in love but also excited. There is something new. A change is in the air and i know it is a big change, but i think it has to happen.

I am sad for leaving everybody here. But they understand plus its not like im going to die. Im still going to be there for all of them, whenever they need me. Just seeing each other will be somewhat complicated. But it is better like this. I dont want to make his life miserable, so i will just disappear completely until im sure he is gone. When he will be gone hopefully he wont feel that much hate towards me.


I have been living in one place for almost ten years, maybe it is really time to do something else again. To see the world, to meet people.

To go and find myself again.